Shari Young our associate minister was quoting from a book entitled "The Road to Character" in which the author talks about "Eulogy virtues vs. Resume Virtues." Resume virtues are those virtues we most often think of, the external virtues which we list on a resume. Eulogy virtues are those internal virtues we don't often think about or see but which others see in us. The author also goes on to describe that which he aspires to be, one who is governed more by the Eulogy virtues than the resume virtues. Saint Theresa of Avila referred to this as the "Upper Mansions." These mansions are the internal mansions we aspire to reach in which external laws of "should and shouldn't" are replaced with internal divine laws. The mansions in which we recognize the divine in ourselves. We aspire less to these mansions than we do to the external mansions like those featured on Celebrity Homes. We focus more on the lower mansions of "what can I take? or What's in it for me?" instead of the upper mansions of "what can I give?". With my mother's passing I thought about her Eulogy virtues, not so much the virtues expanded upon in the three eulogies given by me, her friend form college and her brother but about those virtues which came to light before and after. One of those virtues came from a very unexpected place, a guy with whom we were acquainted whom we met up with once a year on Saint Patrick's Day at the Buena Vista. Upon hearing of her passing, he expressed his condolences to me and told me what a great lady she was. This coming from a man who only saw her maybe 5 times in his life but such was the impact she had in that brief period of time. Similarly, when I was in Australia with our favorite group BROTHER, I was sitting with them at the dinner table one evening under the stars, surrounded by nature and they raised a toast to mom. One of the band members had not seen her in 8 years since he left the band and only caught up with our goings on through facebook, the other had never met her and yet here they were proposing a toast to her memory. Such were her Eulogy virtues, that those who came into contact with her were forever impacted by simply knowing her.
Sometimes, resume virtues and reflect Eulogy virtues. People are amazed when I tell them my mother pretty much planned her own memorial service right down to having Peter Daldry sing and a piper from Prince Charles Pipe Band play at her memorial service. Even before she went on Hospice, even before she was bed bound, when she found out her cancer had returned she began making plans for her memorial service including asking Peter to sing. Her resume virtue of being so organized reflected her Eulogy virtue of having an inner peace. Additionally, she spoke at length to me and her friends and student nurses about our futures. Her resume virtue of teaching reflecting her Eulogy virtue of caring for others and her desire that her knowledge should be passed on.
Most of the time we reflect on our resume virtues, after all these are the ones that enable us to "bring home the bacon." We are not often asked by potential employers to reflect on our eulogy virtues. On the internal virtues that could be applied. I have only had two occasions in my life in which on a professional level I have been asked about my Eulogy virtues. One school asked "What would your students say about you?" In other words what are the Eulogy virtues that came across to your students? The second is on an application I am filling out to enter into a patient advocacy certification program at my alma mater Sonoma State. In the application they ask if you are interested in a specific field of patient advocacy and why. What are those Eulogy virtues I possess which will make me a good patient advocate in this field? They are calling for both resume and eulogy virtues all in one question. My resume answer had to do with wanting to do pediatrics because of my experience as a teacher. My eulogy answer had to do with watching my nephew and his family struggle with his Leukemia and eventually, like my mother losing his struggle as well.
To live constantly in your Eulogy virtues, and to be aware of the divine in yourself requires a constant commitment to remaining in the moment. It is easier I think to discover your resume virtues, they are in the concrete "real world" and therefore easier to see. It is after all these virtues which bring us praise and hopefully a financial raise. Our eulogy virtues require going deep inside ourselves to discover the divine within. We are not often praised for this and sometimes, we are in fact ridiculed or written off as "flaky" or "Living in their own little world." We live in world of "should and shouldn't" and "what's in it for me." Or as Robert Burns once wrote "What is right and what is wrong by the law?" Those who live beyond who live within their Eulogy virtues live within a world of "What can I give?" of asking God to expand our divine selves so that we do not see all that we give to others. To live within the laws of the land but to put God's law first and never to bend God's law to "should and shouldn't."
Sometimes, resume virtues and reflect Eulogy virtues. People are amazed when I tell them my mother pretty much planned her own memorial service right down to having Peter Daldry sing and a piper from Prince Charles Pipe Band play at her memorial service. Even before she went on Hospice, even before she was bed bound, when she found out her cancer had returned she began making plans for her memorial service including asking Peter to sing. Her resume virtue of being so organized reflected her Eulogy virtue of having an inner peace. Additionally, she spoke at length to me and her friends and student nurses about our futures. Her resume virtue of teaching reflecting her Eulogy virtue of caring for others and her desire that her knowledge should be passed on.
Most of the time we reflect on our resume virtues, after all these are the ones that enable us to "bring home the bacon." We are not often asked by potential employers to reflect on our eulogy virtues. On the internal virtues that could be applied. I have only had two occasions in my life in which on a professional level I have been asked about my Eulogy virtues. One school asked "What would your students say about you?" In other words what are the Eulogy virtues that came across to your students? The second is on an application I am filling out to enter into a patient advocacy certification program at my alma mater Sonoma State. In the application they ask if you are interested in a specific field of patient advocacy and why. What are those Eulogy virtues I possess which will make me a good patient advocate in this field? They are calling for both resume and eulogy virtues all in one question. My resume answer had to do with wanting to do pediatrics because of my experience as a teacher. My eulogy answer had to do with watching my nephew and his family struggle with his Leukemia and eventually, like my mother losing his struggle as well.
To live constantly in your Eulogy virtues, and to be aware of the divine in yourself requires a constant commitment to remaining in the moment. It is easier I think to discover your resume virtues, they are in the concrete "real world" and therefore easier to see. It is after all these virtues which bring us praise and hopefully a financial raise. Our eulogy virtues require going deep inside ourselves to discover the divine within. We are not often praised for this and sometimes, we are in fact ridiculed or written off as "flaky" or "Living in their own little world." We live in world of "should and shouldn't" and "what's in it for me." Or as Robert Burns once wrote "What is right and what is wrong by the law?" Those who live beyond who live within their Eulogy virtues live within a world of "What can I give?" of asking God to expand our divine selves so that we do not see all that we give to others. To live within the laws of the land but to put God's law first and never to bend God's law to "should and shouldn't."
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